


Flowey Gets a Journal 2: CrU1S1n_4_a_BrU1S1n

by Mettapapansey



Series: Flowey's Journaling Adventures [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Flowey pov, Gen, Houseplant Flowey, Mental Instability, Post-Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-22 03:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 9,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7417861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mettapapansey/pseuds/Mettapapansey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howdy! It's me, FLOWEY! FLOWEY the FLOWER. Golly, you must be so confused! You probably thought I was dead this whole time. Well, you thought wrong. I've been with Asgore this ENTIRE time! That was until that one night where everything became dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entry #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After several months of self-exile, Flowey begins to get bored of his new caretaker.

1\. Howdy! It's me, FLOWEY. FLOWEY the FLOWER. It's been awhile now, hasn't it? No RESETS or anything. It really feels like reality’s coming back to me.

                     

Anyway, over the last few months or so, I've been with Asgore. After Frisk RESET, I went and sought him out and like the times before, he was more than happy to take care of me, though oblivious of my TRUE identity. Exactly what I wanted. My Plan B was to escape to the city somewhere, but it's much bigger than the underground. Too overwhelming. Besides, I haven't seen Asgore in AGES. Toriel rarely lets me leave the house. She didn't want me getting into trouble, but who cares? I did either way.

 

But now that Asgore and I’ve gotten reacquainted and he’s shown me just about everything worth mentioning, things have died down again. Things have become boring. I thought I might take up journaling again because… I really did like it... while I had it to myself. I think I like this tablet better than the old laptop. It used to be Asgore's but he gave it to me because his fingers were too big to use it properly. I told him if he threw in a keyboard, we’d have a deal and he did it with no questions asked. It almost feels like Frisk’s laptop, except smaller. Just my size.

 

I even found a way to password protect this document, myself. Not even Frisk knows what the password is this time. Next time they try to read MY PRIVATE WRITINGS, they'd be **CrU1S1n_4_a_BrU1S1n**. And if they do find out, I'll KILL them. End of story.

 

Hmm... what to do? My dad isn't necessarily tech savvy. So there isn't that much to do that's new. There’s some old books nearby. Most from them I've already read. There's this one book that sticks out, though. It always sticks out because Asgore always arranges his books by colorThis particular book I’m referring to is RED like human BLOOD. I already know what it’s about, though. It's about those DETERMINATION experiments by Dr. W.D. Gaster. It's really old, talking about timeline jumping LONG BEFORE I was ever created. Nothing I don’t ALREADY know. It's also filled with all this scientific jargon and what not so I can't necessarily read it. Not without dragging along a freaking DICTIONARY. And even then, I STILL don't know what they're talking about. Mind you, this is also the TRANSLATED version. I read part of his biography along with running into his followers back in the golden days. They say he talks in hands and that's a WHOLE other language ENTIRELY. What was Asgore THINKING, bringing in this man?

 

Oh, and speaking of Asgore, I think he's home now. He said he had to do some government negotiations, being the ambassador of monsters and all. He originally wanted to give it to Frisk, but he turned it down. I remember Frisk having to go anyway from time to time, because he's the only human to have fallen down and lived. I don't think it's anything big. He just gives testimonials.

 

Asgore's coming into the room now. He looks rather downcast. Wonder what those humans talk about at those meetings?

 

Oh.

 

...he's upset about me. He knows.

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

...welp.

 

FUCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOWDY EVERYBODY! Welcome to Flowey Gets a Journal Part 2!!!  
> For anyone who's still reading along from the last part, welcome!! I thank all of you for joining me once again on a magical journey through Flowey's mind. And as for everyone else who is just joining us, WELCOME! Feel free to read part 1 if you'd like. 
> 
> Anyway, the posting schedule for this fic is going to be similar to the one I used last time, in case you're wondering. I just posted today to throw you off. ;P 
> 
> Also, I just realized yesterday that Undertale characters having a journal is like a really hot thing right now. Particularly on Amino. I found a few I really liked though. P. Feathers and BeautifulWorld (UPS) really took it for me so far, as far as Flowey goes. So I wanted to give them kudos here because I can. 
> 
> Welp, that's all for today! See you soon~!


	2. Entry #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worry not, Flowey.
> 
> This is only the beginning.

2\. So, the time has come. Toriel finally got the nerve to call this old man up and lay it on him.

 

"Our son has died. Again."

 

“But what do you mean, TORIEL. Our son has been dead for quite some time.”

 

“Yes, but… he came back. ASGORE, he came back! Except… he was a flower. He had been with us for quite some time, but Frisk said something horrible had happened to him and now he’s…”

 

“TORIEL.”

 

“What?”

 

“Did you say our son …was a flower?”

 

Then, they figured out it was me and blah blah blah. Seriously, I can't believe these people thought I was DEAD! What kind of cheap gimmick is that?! Anyways, Asgore said it would be better if I went back with them. He said we could visit and all, but he wants Frisk and I to grow up together. Like how I used to with Chara. Except he’s NOT Chara and he NEVER WILL BE Chara so I don’t see the point!

 

Whatever. I guess I'm ready to face them. I just didn’t them want to know. I wanted them to remember me as Asriel. Not as a stupid flower. Why couldn’t Frisk just LISTEN to me?! This is ALL his fault!

 

And, I don't know why they'd want me. I'm better off with Asgore, aren’t I? Or alone, back in the Underground. Or dead. Things would be better that way, wouldn't it? Just giving up? I mean, I lived my life already. What's the point?

 

Wait.

 

OH MY-

 

WHAT THE HELL!?

 

THE WALLS AND THE FLOOR ARE GLITCHING OUT! WHAT'S HAPPENING!?

 

WHERE'S MY DAD!?

 

HELP!!

 

PLEASE, CHARA HELP! I'M NOT READY TO DIE!! STOP PLEASE! PLEASE STOP!!

 

I CANT BREATHE!! I CANT BREATHE!!

 

**Worry not, Flowey.**

**This is only the beginning.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everybody!
> 
> One more thing before we get rolling, YES - I know this chapter is short, but one of the things I like to do with this fic is post twice a day if they're short. That way you get a little bit more. The people who are reading it now, in the morning, are gonna have fun though. Because I don't plan to post until this afternoon! Hee hee hee! So there's that! Anyway, thanks a MILLION everyone for the kudos and support! I'll see you this afternoon~!


	3. ENTRY #17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gooooosh, this chapter underwent MASSIVE renovations from the original draft. Special thanks to Zimbo for helping me with this. I really appreciate it! :)

**I know you.**

**I have known you since you were an infant in your mother's arms.**

**I've watched you play.**

**I've watched you grow.**

**I've watched you die.**

**I've watched you suffer.**

**I know who you are, ASRIEL DREEMURR. The first monster to ever wield DETERMINATION. The first monster with the ability to SAVE. Did you really think you were above consequences? Did you really think your RESETS would make the pain you’ve caused your people vanish?**

** I know what you did. **

**Scattered across time, I see and hear everything and although I am omnipresent, the underground’s memory of me slowly fades. While this matter doesn’t concern you, your majesty, I very much wish to make my final remarks.**

**I too, have done a revolutionary deed before the eyes of monsters. In a time of rationed hope and flickering dreams, the darkness of the underground I have filled with light. Yes, it was I who had created the core. The ripples of my success I’ve only inhaled for merely a second before becoming consumed by my own creation. I forewarn you, dear leader, with every breath you take, your creation eats at your very veins.**

**I hope one day, monsters will read this and remember, for even a nanosecond, of my existence. Unfortunately, I can only hope. Something that you are incapable of doing. The only thing you are capable of doing is rotting every universe with that wicked stench of a husk. That husk you even call “divine.”**

**Embrace your fate, ASRIEL. Let this world erase you from the dust and embrace what once was and will never be again.**

**From this day forward, you belong to us.**

**You shall join me in the void. Me and my colleagues. Forever.**


	4. Entries #3-7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey has a bad time.

3\. What? What happened while I was out??

UGH, vines wont stop shaking…

Someone WROTE IN HERE!! That’s IT! When I find out who, I’m going to-

Oh.

Now I see.

And the worst part is… I know who.

* * *

4\. Great. Just great. Asgore HAD to bring Frisk TODAY, didn’t he? As if the old man couldn’t wait a measly day! Would it KILL him to wait a day or two, because not waiting at all certainly will. Then he has the audacity to walk in here like everything’s all peachy and say, “Good morning, son! Golly, I haven’t slept that good in decades. How about you, Asriel? How did you sleep?” I glared at him.

Hmm… Gee DAD, let’s see:

Bags forming under my eyes? Check.

Pounding agonizing headache? Check!

Increased impulse to STRANGLE somebody? Oh, like you wouldn’t BELIEVE! CHECK!!

Yep, I had a GREAT night’s sleep, DAD. Thanks for asking!

Golly, I don’t know what happened last night. I wasn’t even doing anything wrong.

I thought it was a dream, but it looked so real. Almost like another world. It was dark, darker, yet darker. As this world shattered before me, the darkness kept growing. The shadows cutting deeper all around me. It was like... I could feel it. I could feel it burrowing into my skin. It felt as if knives were violently slashing my body apart. It felt very... familiar. I don't know why! I've never been slashed by knives before. Maybe spears, but certainly not knives!

Then as if the darkness dispersed like a fog, I saw him. I saw his face. It was pale and deformed. I wondered for a moment how could I forget that THIS was Gaster? I've run into him before, but only enough times that I could count with my nonexistent fingers!

He spoke, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. Then my body started to convulse. It became fragmented, like it was glitching out. My limbs were falling apart and reappearing again in a variety of ways and in a variety of places. It was like being electrocuted and burned at the same time. I don't know how long it lasted, but it felt like forever. It was as if I had ended up in hell.

I cried out incessantly, calling out for anyone who could hear me. But, to be honest, I didn’t think anyone would. There was something that was beating inside of me. Something that made me think that I deserved this. This was my fate. My TRUE fate. That I should just embrace it and accept it. Then, as I began to give in this newfound reality, it stopped. My body was left in a cold and trembling numbness. This was hours ago, but even as I type now, I can still feel its aftereffects.

Gaster said something else after that, but I couldn’t understand what it was. Then I blinked and I was back! I was sitting in front of my tablet, like I was last night. I could hear Asgore snoring not too far by. It left me to question something, though. Did everything end up RESETting or... you know what? I don't know. I don't care. It was probably just a bad dream, that’s all. I'm going to try and get some shut eye before I have to deal with Frisk along with the others. I really don’t want to do this.

  
5\. Welp, I'm home. Or what I used to call home. Whatever. At least Asgore let me keep the tablet. The others gave me things as well, as welcome home gifts. I got a wider pot, a bag of my favorite gummy worms, a giant bone (Geez, Papyrus), and soil soaking with so many tears I wouldn't need water for weeks. If only there was a way I could sink into it and drown, because I don’t want to be here anymore.

I told Frisk not to tell them about my true identity. I TOLD HIM! I told him as soon as he came to Asgore's house that I told him. Our first moments of reconciliation with each other, and I spent them screaming my head off.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” I yelled. “Why did you tell them!?”

“I-I didn’t!” Frisk said all “innocently”.

“YES, YOU DID! How ELSE would they have found out? Why did you show them my journal?!”

What a piece of work, that boy is! All this bickering back and forth, and Frisk left my poor dad sitting there, sipping on his tea. And if THAT weren’t enough, Asgore was the ONLY one who apologized!

Asgore tried to make things better by saying he'd talk with Toriel in order to 'help' me. Help ME?! What does he mean by helping ME!? He's never helped me with squat! Neither he nor Toriel. Does he really think that ANYTHING he tries to do would help ME? Hee Hee Hee… That poor naïve idiot. He should just give up. I did.

 

6\. Toriel made my favorite pie, now that she knows who I am. I don't understand. Eating used to take away all the pain, but I'm not like HIM. HE could eat and then forget about all his problems, as if they were never there at all. But for me, I feel just as empty as before I ate. They don’t miss ME, they miss HIM. Can’t they just DROP IT!? I don’t even know who this Asriel guy is! Who is he, anyway? He sounds like a wuss.

Sans and I talked, later on. At least he still calls me “FLOWEY”. Complete with the bad plant puns and everything. FINALLY, this guy gets it! Anyway, he explained that perhaps we could try a more “humanistic approach” in helping me, since science and magic aren't developed enough to make me a SOUL. I think it's futile, but Alphys said she'd try to make me one. But before that, she wants to run a small experiment on me. She wants to see if I actually have a SOUL or not. What? Me? With a SOUL? HAH! I’ve been going through timelines for far too long, Alphys. Don’t make me laugh!

Also, I’d REALLY hate to burst these peoples’ bubbles, but the whole “humanistic approach” just REEKS of a bad idea. I can't believe Sans would actually agree to this! Bringing me to some HUMAN doctor so I could talk to THEM about MY problems? What good are they gonna do? Ask me about how I feel all day? Give me "medicine"? Fool me into thinking, “Oh no, you don't NEED a SOUL in order to feel. It’s just all in your head”? Maybe they'll kill me for all I know. Put an end to this horrible nightmare. Don't they realize that me not having a SOUL IS the problem? They're all just lucky I'm too tired to kill anybody.

 

7\. Boy, Toriel hasn’t kissed my forehead like that in a really long time. It felt… nice. Too bad I can't really care. I hate being a flower. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Shout out to TreTheDon for being my first commenter on AO3! Really appreciate that~! And yes, Flowey out to be making many acquaintances. Hee Hee Hee~! Anyway, see ya later!


	5. Entries #8-11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't get better.

8\. Chara, why do I tremble so much? It’s so weird. It's more than fear. I’ve never felt it before leaving the underground and I don't think Alphys knows what it is or why it happens. Guess life really is that cruel, huh? Figures. I spent DAYS away from this journal, unable to write because I’d been shaking so much. Frisk had to use an old music box in order to calm me down. Toriel must’ve given it to him. She used to use it a lot for… him. I WISH FRISK WOULD STOP TOUCHING IT, GEEZ! HE’S GETTING HIS HUMAN COOTIES ALL OVER IT! Just to think someone like ME could have nice things.

Earlier today, Frisk and the others were encouraging me to go back to school, but I refused to listen to them. Not after what happened. They don't know what it's like to feel like an idiot in public. Those people were LAUGHING at me while I SUFFERED! And what if it happens again? After all, all those humans need to do is look at you the wrong way and that’s it. I hate school! I'm NEVER going back there ever again!  
  
I'm better off with Sans showing me stupid baby shows because Toriel wants me to watch more "educational" programming. What the hell, Toriel!? I'm not 4! Come on! We don't even watch it. We either fall asleep or watch something else. Sans even caught up and gives me part of the blanket now. Wonder how long it's going to take HER to catch up? Hee Hee Hee!  
  
  


9\. Maybe it’s not so bad that people knew who I was (not who I really am – who I WAS). Ever since coming back, I've been getting transplanted a lot more. Sometimes they’d take me outside or to Papyrus's restaurant or someplace new entirely. Today, Undyne dragged me to an arcade she found to play video games. Video game-ception, anyone? Anyway, all she wanted to do was play all the fighting games. I didn't mind, because that's all what I wanted to do, too. Finally, something to take my anger out on and nobody has to die! I liked to imagine that the little pixel men were Frisk, personally. Too bad it wasn’t for very long. If Undyne hadn't been rational enough to get us to stop, we would have broken the games (actually, I ripped a joystick off one of them, but DON’T TELL HER THAT!). After that, we spent the rest of the day gazing at the sunset. At the dump. With Alphys.

...

You know, it really sucks being the third wheel, here. I hope they know that! Then Sans wondered why I was so "down in the dumps". I thought I was going to murder him. I don't know WHY that made me laugh so genuinely. I even SAW it coming!

Also, Papyrus has taken responsibility over lightening my mood. Every morning he likes strap my pot into some baby carrier he found and take me for a jog. He used to do that with Frisk for the same reason and he even accompanies us some days. Just to make sure I stay on the "straight and narrow" as Papyrus calls it. I don't know why he tries, honestly. The straight and narrow is too straight and narrow for me. Not even my stem could fit through there.

Great. Now Papyrus thinks I sound just like Sans.

…

Papyrus, will you PLEASE stop looking over my shoulder?!

  
  
10\. Maybe another perk about coming back is that I can use Frisk's laptop again? Dear Steam account, you were dearly missed. My old journal is in here, too. I don't like reading it. It's too stupid, but people left all these letters for me after I ran away. I laughed. Really, guys? REALLY? WOW! What a bunch of idiots! I don't think I ever laughed this hard before! Oh, and what’s this? Sans’s life story? All over MY journal? Oh, how JUICY! Out of all the worthless letters I’ve found here, Sans was the only one to have peaked my interest. Why am I not surprised?   
  
Now, on to TF2! It's been so long… Time to kick that Medic’s ASS! Hee Hee Hee!

  
  
11\. You know, I never told anyone about that Gaster incident. Not that they’d ever believe ME, but after about a week of worrying to myself, I’m pretty much convinced that it was all a dream. It was a dream and I sleep-typed the whole thing. Silly me! No more sleeping in front of computers from now on. And just to think that there any actual threat.   


**Or so you think...**


	6. ENTRY [REDACTED]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ERROR 404: NOT FOUND

**ENTRY [REDACTED]**

 

**I see you have not caused any casualties since our last encounter, Flowey. Good job. You've managed not to hurt anyone. This time.**

**However, I ponder over how long it will take. How long will it take before you shatter? You’ve thought this had been all but a dream, but my silence was not in vain. As all accomplished scientists do, I have been observing you, Flowey. I even see you, now. You have been staring very intently on Frisk. You have been contemplating something. I would not execute it if I were you.**

**I bet you’d like to know why you’re still here. Why I had taken you out of my blissful reality in favor of your fabricated existence. Since you are unable to understand my language, I have resorted to typing into your journal so that you may heed my warning. I have proposed a compromise with you, Flowey. A bet in which you won't succeed unless you truly repent. Abstain yourself from murder, lest you come back and pay for the sins you committed against every monster in the underground.** **I highly doubt that is your desire, however. Especially since our last "play date".**

**Remember, your DETERMINATION won't wipe the dust from your petals.**

**I see EVERYTHING.**

 

* * *

 

12\. Oh...


	7. Entries #13-15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, Flowey goes with this.

13\. What the hell?! Is this really...? Is this actually...

...

...no.

Hee Hee Hee!

You crack me up, Gaster. CRACK. ME. UP. You expect ME to go the rest of my life without killing anyone? Really, Gaster!? What if I have to defend myself? Do I just sit there and take it? Do I go home, crying my eyes out to my mommy? How pathetic! Who does he think he is, telling ME what to do? He's not GOD. Seriously, I can't believe this guy!

Okay, Gaster. So I’ll play your little “game”. Maybe it’ll show you how stupid you are and you’ll finally get a life. What? Is the void not good enough for you, Gaster? You have to resort to stalking and torturing innocent little flowers for a kick, now? Talk about a whole new LOW!! You don’t know ANYTHING about me and Frisk!

But boy… I was so close to killing that human out of SPITE!

* * *

14\. I spend my weekends at Asgore's nowadays - an improvement. At least Sans and Toriel can’t annoy us with their howls of laugher anymore. Also, it doesn't matter what garden I'm in, I always like Asgore's more. Though, it's still full of those putrid yellow flowers. Predictable.

When is he going to realize that I'VE been the one destroying parts of his garden? He says he keeps them because they remind him of the underground, but that's my point. They remind ME of the underground.

15\. That reminds me. I haven't talked to Chara for awhile, now. Chara, can you hear me? Dad says he wants to get back with Mom. As if THAT’S ever going to happen. Toriel and Sans have been going steady for awhile now. Ever since I ran away.

I used to be irked by it, but now... I think things will be alright. Sans isn't nearly as bad as I thought he'd be. He said I could change if I just try, like he always does. Except without the bad times, this time around. Between you and me, he's probably more tired than I am. I thought he'd be relieved if not satisfied that Frisk hasn't RESET in months. He got what he wanted. We got to sit around, share a few forced laughs, eat the same grub we always eat. Sometimes he changes things up for my sake.

Once he took Papyrus and I to this human restaurant called McDonald's. Do you know who McDonald is, Chara? I don't know who this McDonald guy is, but he's a real piece of trash.

We never went inside it. Papyrus wanted to use the drive-thru because he thought it would make him look cool. Ha ha... We ordered and Sans got me a Happy Meal. I don't know if you ever had a "Happy Meal", Chara, but that "Happy Meal" made me anything but happy. First of all, they BARELY gave me any fries! The fry container was too damn small. I know I’m a flower, but COME ON! What kind of prejudice IS this!? Sans laughed at me. Then I threw the container at him. Hee Hee Hee! Those fries sucked anyway. And so did the nuggets. There was a CHICKEN HEAD in there! A. CHICKEN'S. HEAD. And Sans had the audacity to sit there and ask me if I was too 'chicken'. And you know what I did, Chara? I threw that at the bone head, too. Made him shut up real quick! HAHAHA! You should've seen him, Chara! He looked as if I slashed him to death. You would have LOVED IT! Papyrus was screaming, too. He stormed into the McDonald's like mom would've, demanding an explanation. We got another box, but the human running it said that they thought it was part of a monster's diet. That they EAT CHICKEN HEADS. ...I've never eaten a chicken head in my life! Nor do I want to. That was such a preposterous thing to assume. I wanted to kill him, but that mean old Gaster wouldn’t let me. So, I slapped him, like a good boy does, and called him an asshole. Sure Papyrus was ranting at me the whole ride home, but that was just me being smooth.

Anyway, that place was terrible. Guess we'll be sticking to Grillby's from now on. Sans is trying way too hard. And if you think I'm a baby for not eating that chicken head, then I dare YOU to eat one, Chara! Unless… you’re too “chicken”. ;P


	8. Entries #16-19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey still hasn't learned a thing.

16\. I was so close to killing someone! I swear, if I had gotten my hands on them, they would have been DEAD! Frisk would know, he was there. Now, I barely talk to Frisk. Frisk is worse than I am and THAT is saying a lot, but he tries to make things up to me by taking me out more and blah blah blah. Anyway, he took me around town, showing me different places like he’s done at least COUNTLESS times before. Okay, maybe a couple of times before. Though, the surface looks a lot more modern compared to how I last remembered it. On the other hand, I sure am glad to see the humans haven’t changed a bit. Nope! They’re still as bloodthirsty as ever. As we walked by, they sometimes would give us glares. The kind of glares that would puncture your SOUL! Usually, I try to look away and control my breathing, but I have no SOUL and I got bored.

The next person who passed by us looked especially peeved. I hurled an insult at him, just because I can! Boy, I didn't think I'd be able to do it, too. That guy looked like a REAL SCUMBAG. And he was. He punched Frisk right in the face.

Then I used one of those comebacks those political guys do. There was this one guy with the really stupid hair. Everyone tried to make me impersonate him for a week because I did him so well. Anyways, I took off from him. That wasn't my smartest move. He tried to pull off his pants after that... showing off his ballerina tutu… Welp, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blanked out. I can't remember a thing. But, as I was wiping the blood off of my vines, I already knew Frisk was almost DEAD.

Speaking of that, what the hell, Frisk!? Not only was I forced to spare that guy, but you know I got punished because of you? Boy, are you STUPID! What were you doing, jumping into bullets like that? Don’t you know they’re supposed to KILL people?! But Frisk didn't die. He didn't even RESET. Instead, he was sent to the hospital. He's recovering right now. And that idiot who tore his pants off is behind bars. As for me... well... let's just say... Sans and Toriel wouldn't let me off the hook. Though I don't care how many times I have to type “I will keep my vines and bullets to myself.” AT LEAST, I didn't kill anybody. Frisk and I were just having a little playdate, that’s all! Those are my final words, your honor! CASE DISMISSED!

* * *

17\. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of suffering, I got to Frisk! Not because I wanted to see him or anything. I just wanted his laptop. Papyrus and Undyne had taken it so Frisk would have something to do and I've been bored for DAYS! This tablet doesn't do much for me as far as games go so I'm practically forced to rely on his computer. I'm still not talking to him, though.

18\. Alphys came today. She wanted to tell me that they're going to experiment on me soon. I almost slapped her. ALMOST. As if she hadn't experimented with me enough! Just the THOUGHT of her lab in the Underground is a horrortale. She said her lab on the surface was a lot cleaner than the old one. I BETTER HOPE SO.

19\. I heard Toriel was talking with Asgore while I was gone. Ever since I moved back home, they've been talking more. They're obviously talking about me. They think Sans is right when he says that I'm sick. ...I think he's right, too.

But that’s just because I don’t have a SOUL. I can’t remember a happier point in my life than that time I could feel the hearts of every monster beating as one. For once, I didn’t feel LOVE, but love. If I could feel that again… if I could feel that all the time… What Sans is trying to do is POINTLESS! It's not like the humans could HELP ME! They'll just make things worse. Like they already are...

Toriel and Asgore don’t get it. They think because I’m flower that I feel like I’m not good enough for them. If only I could fool myself with that, too. I only asked Toriel if she still loved me so she could say “Of course I do, Asriel. I love you very, very much!” She thought she was saying that to reassure me, but in truth, she’s only reassuring herself, because I'm just waiting for mom to throw me out of her life for good... Just like she did with dad...

 


	9. Entries #20-23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey loses it.

20\. Frisk is finally able to go home. Golly, it sure took those doctors a LONG time to get him out of there. You know, it really was an accident. And it's not the first time he's gotten bullets in his body. I knew he'd be all right from the start! 

Oh, and I'm not making him another get well drawing. He could go draw his own. 

21\. I'm bored. …Actually, I’m not really bored. I feel sick. Frisk and Sans are sleeping, but they left the TV on. Papyrus is at work. What am I supposed to do!? Ever since Toriel told me to keep Frisk company and make sure he doesn’t spew his guts everywhere, I’ve felt like this. Everytime Frisk would fall asleep, I’d slap him awake. Then Sans told me to stop and “let the poor kid rest.” Why did I listen to him? Why did I think HE’D be the one to keep ME company? Why did I think ANYONE could keep me company? I’m just doomed to suffer alone, aren’t I? Of course. Why would anyone ever help me? Whenever I need help, nobody EVER comes!

I can’t do this. I think I’m going to hurl.

22\. Why do I even bother? I break a vase full of flowers and all Sans could say is, "i can't beleaf you." Then he changes the channel and goes back to sleep. You know what? I can't beleaf YOU, Sans! YOU have got to be the laziest piece of trash I've ever met in my LIFE! Even your BROTHER thinks you’re lazy! He asks you for a hand all the time at the Spaghetti Emporium and all you can do is throw your hand at him! I’m surprised you even do THAT! If you’re just going to sleep the rest of your life away, then FINE! You do that, you worthless bag of bones! I don’t need you! I don’t even need FRISK! I don’t need ANYONE! 

23\. Great. Toriel's home. Like I care what she does to me. As if putting me in the corner is really gonna make my problems go away.


	10. Entries #24-26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey gets a nice little SOUL check-up by the brilliant Dr. Alphys!

24\. FINALLY. I don't go to school, but even I'm glad the weekend is here! Now I don't have to babysit Frisk anymore. There's only one thing that could make this weekend better however and that's if I didn't have to deal with Alphys. Today's that day she runs that experiment on me so I have to spend the day with her and Undyne. Oh, AND just to make sure I don't go anywhere, Frisk and Papyrus are BABYSITTING me and Papyrus won't STOP. LOOKING. OVER. MY. SHOULDER.

DANG IT, SANS! Why did you have to do this?! I wanna go home!

This can't last much longer, right? I don't know how much more abuse I could take.

25\. HAH! What a bunch of idiots. Don't they know that the true way of playing Monopoly is by CHEATING? I don't know whose idea it was to even play that game, but whoever came up with the idea is stupid. Papyrus and Undyne were bickering over the rules, Sans was sleeping half the time, and Frisk looked like he was going to pull his hairs out. I offered him that pulling my petals off was kinda the same thing.

Eventually, Sans' constant snoring was starting to get to me. I knew as long as his eyes didn't catch me that he wouldn't be able to dodge. So, I took a vine and yanked him by his ankle. Hee Hee Hee!

Speaking of dodging, Undyne wanted to challenge that. Just like she did before Sans became a sentry and of course, she couldn't land a blow on him. Then I decided to show off. You know, just to reminisce all the times I had to RESET because of HIM? I wasn't expecting to hit him though. He was within my trajectory and I pulled away just before I could tear through him. Yeah... as much as I'd love to kill this guy, he's not worth it. Not this time. I have to be a good boy, remember? For old man Gaster? GET A LIFE.

Oh, and Frisk took a whack at him too, but he was being a baby. He lightly "pushed" the skeleton... Come on, Frisk. You can do better than that. Though while he, Sans, and Undyne were having their little spar, I took all the cards, the money, and put hotels on all the properties. Then I tried to make them all play. Sans put me in the jail after that, but WHO CARES!? I STILL WON!

Oh. Alphys is here now. Ugh, let's make this fast.

26\. Chara?

Chara? Gaster? Somebody? I need help. I'm scared.

I have a SOUL.


	11. Entry #27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't hug me, I'm scared.

27\. I...

Have a SOUL.

Me. 

FLOWEY. 

FLOWEY THE FLOWER. 

I think I woke up about two minutes ago or something, but I might just black out again. 

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M WRITING THIS, BUT...

I. 

HAVE. 

A SOUL.


	12. Entries #28-29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey attempts to make sense out of things.

28\. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I can't... I can't. Alphys is WRONG! She's an IDIOT!! WHY IS IT THAT... Why...?

 

* * *

 

29\. Okay. Okay, I feel better now. If you've been wondering where I've been over the last few days, Chara, I've been recovering. Recovering over the biggest LIE I've ever heard IN MY LIFE. I HAVE A SOUL. FLOWEY HAS A SOUL.

 

Boy, I never thought those words would be used in the exact same sentence. In that particular order. When Alphys said she was going to run experiments on me, she never told me she’d be PERFORMING, too. Never in ANY of my resets had she offered to test if I actually had a SOUL. She just went with the books, like everybody else. But NOW on the surface, she decides to gain the AUDACITY to test THAT out!?

 

Alphys tested her little contraption on Frisk, first. There was an ominous monitor right next to it. It looked like that TV from her old lab, only thinner and portable. At least she was right when she said the lab looked nicer. She was truthful with THAT. When Alphys waved the monitor over Frisk, it displayed a red SOUL sitting right in the middle. Nothing wrong with that.

 

Then, she waved the monitor over me and froze. Frisk tried to help her but he almost dropped the monitor too. I asked them why they were staring at me like that and they backed off like I was an alien or something. I asked them again and then they told me... THAT.

 

"It’s a SOUL, Flowey... you have a SOUL!"

 

...Welp, needless to sa,y after several waves of slander and accusations being tossed around, they finally showed me an image of ...my SOUL. After that, I became catatonic. It was a fragment of a SOUL, but it was still a SOUL. Even now, part of me still thinks she's making it up, but the other...

 

Golly...

 

I haven't cried this much since the day Chara died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess it's safe to say that concerning the SOUL business, yes - in a way, I am taking a route similar to AFAC. Though to be honest, I actually thought about this a few months back and then I found out about AFAC. Just a small note concerning that. Anyway, again I want to thank you guys for your comments/reviews because they are very encouraging for me and I'm thankful that all of you seem to be enjoying it so far! I actually have a lot of plans concerning what to do with the SOUL and I promise you that the direction I'm going in is not going to be the direction most people take. So that's gonna be fun. All right, I'm done now.
> 
> See ya soon! ;P


	13. Entries #30-31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey and Frisk play a video game. A Mario video game.

30\. Today wasn’t so bad. Frisk took me to the video game store to get my mind off everything. I showed him some games I particularly liked; Overwatch, Pokemon, Earthbound, Majora’s Mask… Frisk didn’t choose any of them, of course. Instead, he bought some stupid game called Mario Kart. That irritated me.

“Why are we buying a video game that only YOU like?” I asked. “You might as well have left me at home!”

“Come on, Flowey,” Frisk tried to reassure. “I’m sure you’ll like it if you gave it a chance. That, and it’s the only game mom is willing to buy.”

Oh yeah, Toriel doesn’t want us playing any “violent video games”. Says it’s a bad influence. Pfft, PLEASE! I was going to tell her that SHE was a bad influence, but I didn’t because I was too run-down to care. Nothing more, nothing less. Anyways, we played for a while. I kicked his butt, naturally. Once I got used to the controls that was. What? You think it's easy being a flower, using nothing but vines? I'd use bullets but then I'd break the TV. 

I actually did that one time. I got way more into a monster truck rally than I expected and… I busted the TV. Ha ha. That was great. Not that it matters because Frisk RESET that timeline.

So, after watching Frisk getting frustrated over and over again, he eventually gave up. I don't know why. I was having a great time! I almost forgot about the crippling depression eating me alive! Golly Frisk, wasn’t this game of YOUR picking? Whatever happened to staying determined? Hee Hee Hee! I'm SO bothering him with that, tonight. 

31\. No. NO. WHY? WHY do I have to start therapy TOMORROW? Great. Thanks, mom. That’s just what I wanted to hear. Oh wait, there's more! Apparently, the therapist they put me with is – surprise, surprise - a HUMAN! Oh that is just JIM CRACKING DANDY! Because humans haven't ruined my life ENOUGH! Oh, no! They want to try and wipe up the sins THEY COMMITTED! Genius. 

Let’s get something straight here. First of all, I don't even NEED therapy. The only problem I have is that I don't have a SOUL. However, they've seemed SO convinced otherwise. Through some ridiculous reasoning, they believe that therapy could actually “integrate me with the surface world” better. What are they, a bunch of IDIOTS?! Why don’t they ever LISTEN to me?

Second, why does it have to be a HUMAN? What, it can't be a monster instead?? …Though that'd probably be counterproductive. Then I would be the one giving therapy. Hee Hee Hee! 

Seriously, I have a bad feeling about this.

I don't like where this is going.

I don't like where this is going at all. 

Also, I wish my parents would start calling me "Flowey" again. I don't like when they associate me with my former self.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so originally this chapter was much longer, but I felt like it was better to cut it and put it into chapter 14 instead. So that's you guys are going to see in just a few minutes. Flowey finally gets to go to therapy. Hopefully everything turns out alright for our little flowery friend.


	14. Entries #32-36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey goes to therapy and other things happen, too!

32\. Frisk told me to be genuine when we went to this stupid thing. Welp, I tried. Partially. It started out with a questionnaire I had to fill in. I told her I didn’t need it because the doctor SHOULD know what my problem is, but she explained that EVERYONE has to fill those out. It's stupid if you ask me, but at least I filled that dumb questionnaire and I filled it HONESTLY. Though, the nurse thought I was exaggerating when she read my responses. Everybody else thought I was exaggerating when I threatened to kick her ASS! Oh, sorry. I'm sorry your childhood was just so WONDERFUL and you had no problems WHAT SO EVER. Guess that's why you work at that damn DUMP! Hee Hee Hee!

Anyways, when we FINALLY got around to see that stupid therapist, it was almost TWO HOURS. Geez, what the hell were they doing in there!? And - may I ask again - why is my therapist a HUMAN!? An OLD human at that, with horrible hair like Donald Trump! He looked at me like I was some kind of animal. Now I know I'm a flower and everything, but can't I please have SOME RESPECT? Just because I don't have a SOUL doesn't mean I don't know when I'm being looked down upon.

Oh wait, I DO have a SOUL, according to Alphys. It’s barely anything, though.

I guess that's not the worst part, however. The worst part was what they diagnosed me with. He said I had nothing. Nothing! As if nothing is wrong with me at all. Boy, some help YOU are. He just said I had a "behavioral problem" and that I did the whole questionnaire wrong, saying that "Only a much older person would be feeling all of these things at once. You obviously did not take this questionnaire seriously." I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill him SO. BADLY. I wanted to do something! Why should I sit there and TAKE IT!? WHY? WHY did I sit there and take it? I could have KILLED THAT DINGUS! My insides were burning, like bomb about to explode. I was about to regurgitate my entire existence so far onto all of these people and I wouldn't even care. I'd tell him my childhood, my death, all the deaths after that, and how I destroyed the entire underground. SEVERAL TIMES. Of course, I didn't tell him THAT. I simply dug my thorns into his desk while telling him that his hair looked stupid. Because it did. He then prescribed me some medicine to help "calm me down". He said since I have a mouth, I could take it, but it's an experimental drug, because of something about monster mental health being underdeveloped. Even for monsters.

Anyways, I'm home now. They said I have to start taking it tomorrow. Meanwhile, Sans, Frisk, and I are watching the news and everyone's standing a little on end. Several months ago, Sans and I covered up a murder and... I think they found the body. They said the police were going to conduct an investigation regarding that...

Okay, good luck with that. Not that they're going to find anything. I'm a flower and Sans didn't even touch the body. Whoever those poor loved ones are, it sure sucks to be them. They do got one thing going for them, though. At least they’re not me.

 

* * *

 

33\. Toriel said I should show Dr. DINGUS my drawings. Yeah. Sure. Like I'd let HIM see my drawings. What is he going to tell me? That it's NORMAL? Pictures of all the ways I could kill my NOT sibling and everyone else? I told them it was a bad idea. I TOLD THEM!!

34\. Also, I don't like the idea of taking medicine. Even if it is to try and make me "behave". What? Are the lack of RESETS too good for you? I need to take PILLS, too!? When am I getting that SOUL medicine, anyway?

Oh yeah, Alphys said something about SOUL medicine possibly being a thing. She said she’d look into that for me. Not that I care. It’s probably just a bunch of baloney, anyway.

And about Gaster. Golly, I haven't heard from him in long while. Maybe he’s finally backed off. See Gaster, I’m not the uncontrollable killer you THINK I am. The desire I have to keep or destroy another person’s life is completely at my command. Even now that I’m both powerless and on the surface, I could still destroy or rebuild this world however I please.

**I would refrain from boasting if I were you. Not even you are aware of the CORE you have constructed and are about to fall into.**

SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY JOURNAL!!  
  
35\. That's weird... It's almost noon and I feel so... drowsy. I'm trying to stay awake while Papyrus is finishing this puzzle and I'm having a hard time. It doesn't help that I've seen this spiel before, either. I think I

36\. AUGH, I DROOLED ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD! Eeeew!! Now Papyrus is nagging at me and I WISH HE'D STOP. CALLING. ME. ASRIEL!!

You know what? SCREW IT. I'm going to bed! I don't even like this puzzle, anyway.

 


	15. Entry #37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey starts to reminisce about the past.

37\. Frisk and I caught Toriel on the phone. Presumably with Asgore. We eavesdropped for awhile. We saw some blushes and giggles, but I'm sure they’re just trying to make amends. Toriel and Sans are WAY too happy together and that’s not going to change any time soon. That isn’t a bad thing, though. Having Sans as a parental figure is nowhere near as excruciating as I thought it would be and maybe if Toriel and Asgore were able to develop a mutual respect for each other, maybe I’d get to see Asgore more.

But, sometimes I have these flashbacks where it was just me and my parents. And Chara. How we used to tell each other stories by the fire and eat butterscotch pie... I used to enjoy that. 

I remember that one time Chara and I competed over who could tell the better story. I always tried to tell these stupid silly stories that my parents laughed at because they felt sorry for me. I thought it was great... until Chara told me otherwise. When Chara went up, she'd tell stories of the surface world and the humans in her village. Now that I think about it, she always tended to exaggerate things. But she always had a horror element to her stories, too. My parents and I would get so scared. Sometimes I wouldn't sleep for days!

However, as time went on I thought I would try and bring the best story every night. I tried really hard to give the funniest most exciting story ever. My parents would always laugh at them, but Chara always shook her head. She said I was trying too hard. 

Then one day, we were playing in the dump when something fell on top of me. When I picked it up, it was a book called “Mad-libs”, which had all of these silly stories that made no sense at all. But boy, did they make me laugh! I thought it was just what I needed for a thing that fell from above. 

Later that night, I decided to go up right after Chara. I read the book out loud, laughing my way through, but my parents got ...confused. But Chara thought it was funny. She laughed. She actually laughed! I was so excited! I asked her how I did and... she was laughing AT me. Not with me. She said, "Now you're REALLY trying too hard!"

Things like that sometimes play through my mind like ancient melodies, sound drippings, and the screams of thousands of monsters as I beat them to death. Ha Ha...

Along with sets of numbers. Lines of dialogue. They flash before my eyes vividly. As if I was still trapped underground. 

Why am I even reminiscing these things? I'm supposed to be putting that all behind me.


	16. Entries #38-42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey, are you MOCKING us!?

38\. This is not the first time Asgore's tried to replicate a game of catch. He'd sit in the grass and roll the ball over to me. It got boring after awhile and now it's just annoying. What interests me more is what he's saying to Frisk.

He's explaining to Frisk something about monster inequality. That humans are afraid of the monsters and some laws got passed where monsters are restricted from doing certain things. Some laws are really stupid, like that monsters can't interbreed with humans. Why does it matter? Asgore even stopped a law that would segregate monsters and humans from schools. No wonder Chara hated humanity. Humans are just a pain all around, aren’t they? At least they’re not planning to murder us or anything! Not as long as we have someone like Frisk.

39\. I used to like Golden Flower tea, but now it just brings bad memories. My dad could be a real SICKO when he wants to be! Hee Hee Hee! In one of my RESETS, he tried to BREW ME into his tea. If only he knew! If he actually remembered that, I bet he’d never drink that disgusting concoction again!

I smashed my pot on the ground to display my disapproval, but Asgore didn’t understand what I meant. He thought I was just being "moody". Even FRISK thought that. Asgore asked me, "Did your mother remember to give you your medicine?" I scoffed at him. He thinks he's talking to HIM, but he's not. No one seems to get that I'm not like HIM. I’ll NEVER be HIM!

I don't think Frisk understands either. He doesn't understand me at all. Just because he has the ability to SAVE is meaningless to me. He’s better off without me. They ALL are better off without me. For them, I'm nothing but trouble. Do they genuinely believe I could be a good person? Do they really? I only stayed because I wanted Frisk to be happy, but I guess for him... I'm not good enough. Ha ha...

I'll never be good enough.

* * *

 

40\. Nowadays Sans and I have been going to see Undyne and Alphys while the others are gone. I don't know why. In the meantime, Toriel bought me these giant workbooks and Undyne is supposed to supervise me while I -

Would it KILL her not to shoot at the screen!? Geez... FINE, I’LL STOP JOURNALING!

41\. I hate these workbooks. All I seem to write in them is unintelligible chicken scratch. I'm a FLOWER. What do these people WANT from me?! I'm contemplating over if I should burn this or not.

42\. I wonder...

"Um... U-UNDYNE?"

"What?!"

"HELP!"

"ALPHYS? WHA-"

"Quick, G-G-GET SOME WATER!!"

"REALLY, FLOWEY!? Set the whole house on fire, why don't you?"

"i gotta say. that book's gotta be hottest thing right now."

"Wow, Sans, how smart are you to figure THAT out!?"

"Undyne, please!"

"All right! Geez... Flowey, are you MOCKING us!?"

43\. Hee Hee Hee! That was WORTH IT! Just to see their faces crinkle at me like that made it worth mocking. I've got to say though, it wasn't my plan to fall asleep in the corner like that. Guess I was more tired than I thought.

Anyways, Alphys asked me if I was feeling better about the whole SOUL thing and... well... I'm not. I still think she's making the whole thing up. She said she wanted to go and run another test on me. Don’t ask me why, but it actually surprised me how much determination I had to say, "yes". 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, you guys! So I an SO SORRY about yesterday! I originally had this scheduled for yesterday, but I was like legit exhausted! Last weekend was really long for me, which is ironic in a way because I felt like it went by so fast! xD Anyway, thank you so much for being patient with me, everyone! Tomorrow I plan to go back to the regular schedule. Enjoy your day! ;P


	17. Entries #44-48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, checkups - good for the mind, body and SOUL!

44\. Welp, gotta go see Dr. DINGUS, soon! In the meantime, I've been entertaining a couple of ideas; kill the doctor or kill myself. Gaster would have nothing on me if I did the latter.

45\. Good news, Chara! Today's therapy session went GREAT! In fact, it was so insightful that I fell asleep. Right in front of the doctor. He was THAT boring.

…Okay, he wasn't really boring. I was just tired. I thought I'd shake it off by the time we got there, but I couldn't. Frisk had to constantly shake me awake until I gave up fighting entirely.

"It wasn't worth it," I told myself. "What was the point in being here?" Next thing I knew, I was sitting on Frisk's desk like I always do in the mornings, lost in a daze. I didn't think I'd sleep through the entire session just like THAT! What was I thinking? Then Frisk showed me a video Sans took of me while I was out and… I killed them! But I didn't kill them, because I'm a good flower! On a serious note, I never thought much at being tired since I nap a lot during the day, but now. Now I think something's off.

I consulted Frisk about it because I LET him tag along with me and he said he asked the doctor about it. The doctor said, "Oh yes, that is one of the side effects of his medication. A very common one, I might add." Then Frisk explained that the doctor work to find an alternative if it became too debilitating for me.

...

Oh no, Frisk, it's not debilitating AT ALL! In fact, it's just what I needed. See, I don't need consoling or a SOUL. Nope! I'll just sleep my life away instead. Genius, Dr. DINGUS. You've really saved us now! I'm not going to kill anyone or get tortured or bored or anything. I'm just going to sit here and sleep. As if the "humanistic approach" did something good for once. Ha ha.

* * *

 

46\. So I was browsing through YouTube today and I thought I'd do something beneficial to both myself and those around me – listening to music. Today's selection is a piece called Mad World by Gary Jules. Golly, does it speak to my vaguely existing SOUL!

* * *

 

47\. You know, I've never contemplated with the idea of getting along with Sans. At least not genuinely, anyway. Why would I? What was there worth seeking behind that sad little existence of his? I had better things to do.

However, after reading through his letter, he's begun to rekindle my interest. He told me not to tell anybody, which is no skin off my stem. It's not like I'm like some OTHER people out there. I'm just frankly surprised he hasn't killed me yet (except for that one time). Or... maybe I shouldn't be surprised. He probably promised Toriel (or Frisk) not to kill me. Because that makes a difference either way.

Other than that, I really do enjoy our times together. Just sitting around, watching TV. Listening to his bad puns. There was no reason mask myself with blamelessness while around him. There was nothing he didn't already know and I was still breathing in spite of that. The more time I spend with him, the more I've realized how blinded I was by my own thirst for power. But all is fair in LOVE and war. No hard feelings, right Sansy?

However, my only suspicion about all this is that Sans has been going out more than usual. It used to be once a day, at nightfall, but now he goes out TWICE a day! It's like he's never home! He's either at Grillby's or he's at Alphys and Undyne's where those two have to babysit me all day. It really agitates me. Not only is he leaving me unsatisfied, but I can't watch any TV around here! Again, that's Toriel's fault! "Oh no, TV is too violent for Flowey! He might get angry and start emulating it!" Hee Hee Hee! How utterly pointless!

* * *

 

48\. Just when I thought my DETERMINATION was good for nothing these days, this happened! Today, Alphys and Frisk devised a theory for what's happening to my "SOUL". After Frisk and I told Alphys about what DETERMINATION does to Undyne, they both believe that in a similar fashion, my DETERMINATION is actually recomposing my SOUL. They also theorized that all the RESETS have stifled its progress and that if we stopped RESETing, it could grow stronger ~~(with a lot of LV)~~!

Ha Ha… Even if I DID have a SOUL, I bet I still wouldn't know how to feel about that. Is life really THAT cruel? Give me part of a SOUL and then a power that keeps me from growing it? All those SAVES… all those numerous timelines… Golly, this is a new low. Even for life's standards!

I hate my life...


End file.
